


this was a mistake

by hopalong2



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:58:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 7,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopalong2/pseuds/hopalong2
Summary: I don't own anything purely fanfic





	1. Chapter 1

He stumbled down the stairs from his bedroom there was someone banging on his door at 3am. This can't be good hr thought to himself.  
He threw open the door expecting to come face to face with a person or a global problem or both. Instead, nothing. Then he heard a wimper, following the sound off the porch he couldn't believe his eyes. His 2IC was sitting on the ground, her knees pulled to her chest, hands over her mouth trying to silence the sobs that shook her.  
Kneeling in front of her he managed to reign in his own fear and confusion, her calmly ask her what happened. She didn't answer just cradled her head and began to shake. Jack gathered her to him and carried her in the house.  
Seeing her with the lights on made him gasp. She had bruises from head to toe, a busted lip, and a black eye. Now he was more insistent. "Sam I need to know what happened please you gotta tell me." Still no response. She wouldn't even look him in the eye. He started taking off her jacket when she resisted. Finally she spoke "this was a mistake sir, I'm sorry to have bothered you, goodnight." She turned to leave when he wrapped his arms around her. Her breathing increased and became labored. "Ssshh Sam it's ok, you're alright now, you're safe here ssshh" he held her to him and eventually she started to quiet and began squirming out of his embrace. "Hurts" she whispered. He immediately let go knowing the injuries he could see wouldn't hurt from him holding her. He steeled himself, "Sam, lemme see" she got a glassy, lost look in her eyes and in a monotone voice said "do what you want." He approached her carefully unbuttoning her shirt he noticed the stains. It was stuck to her in her own blood. The gashes on her back were fresh, purple and blue bruises were forming. While he looked she started to shake, tears falling down her cheeks. "Who did this Sam?" He asked gently. " He said he loved me" she responded. "Pete..." He said. " I told him I couldn't marry him and he knocked me down. He was on top of me before I came to. I woke up because he was, he was...." Jack held her as she openly sobbed.

"What?" Jack asked. "Raping me....he was pushing into me. He kept saying I'm the cause of all the problems lately that I should do everyone a favor and eat my gun." Jack sat there and stared at her, he couldn't do anything else. She took his silence for affirmation. " You're right" she said and slipped out the door before he could move.   
He followed her down his driveway to her car. He puzzled when she opened the passenger side and saw her open the glove box. "Oh god" he said to himself and took off at a dead run.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

She saw him coming and dove into the seat locking herself in. He skidded to a stop outside her window seconds later . He saw her reach and pull out her service weapon. He moved to the back seat window and drove his fist through.  
He wrapped his arms around her seat ignoring his bleeding hand and grabbed the gun sliding his finger behind the trigger as a makeshift safety.  
"NO!..NO SAM STOP PLEASE LET ME HELP YOU" she shook her head sobbing, "nothing you can do." She refused to let go and started fighting him. "SAMANTHA STOP!" "NO I HAVE NOTHING, NOTHING HE TOOK IT ALL, ITS ALL GONE!" She released the gun and jumped out of the car heading for the lake. He secured the gun and took off after her. He knew if she went under he'd never find her in the dark. "Please god" he mumbled to himself. She ran down the dock and jumped, he had caught up to her and followed right behind. She started to dive, he followed. Jack dug deep and finally overtook her, grabbing her waist she turned and fought him. They were deep and he knew he needed to get her to the surface. He wrapped his legs around her waist and locked them, pinning her arms to her body. Now he had both arms free to surface. With long strokes he propelled them up until finally breaking thru. He immediately laid on his back and she broke the surface coughing up water. Jack knew water was a calming mechanism for her so he took her to shore and sat in the shallows. He finally released her and pulled her to him. He held her gently rocking her back and forth while she cried. Then he noticed his right hand had several gashes in it from the window. He pulled his over shirt off and wrapped it around the wounds. Sam opened her eyes and stopped crying at the movement. She saw his hand and her eyes were immediately downncast. "I'm sorry, I'll turn myself into Hammond 1st thing sir, it was a honor Serv...." He grabbed her chin and cheek making her look at him. "Stop, he said gently brushing her hair back. I'm fine theres no reason to report anything."

They sat there silently trying to process all that had just happened. "I reported it" Sam whispered " I did that first, she sat up and looked at him, it was awful. I don't know what to do now."  
He pulled her back to his chest "well first NOT what you did, or tried to do, understand?" She nodded, "promise me Sam, say it, promise me baby." She stiffened at the endearment, while he ran his fingers thru her hair. "I'm proud of you Sam, so proud"   
She looked up at him and he kissed her forehead. "Um Sir, I love this but could I take a shower please. He nodded "of course Cmon" he grabbed her hand and went into the house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

She was apprehensive and overflowing with raw emotion. He led her to the bathroom grabbing a big fluffy towel along the way. He started the shower to let it warm and turned to Sam. I'll be close, yell if you need something. He turned to leave. " Please stay" He spun around to catch her blue eyes she repeated "please stay, I feel safe, please."

He nodded knowing it would take all his resolve and then some. She tried to take off her clothes then sank into the toilet weeping and cursing herself "YOU STUPID STUPID BITCH WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN? WHY? I DESERVE THIS AND WORSE!"  
He let her rant without saying a word then he knelt in front of her and grabbed her arms giving her a small shake. " YOU LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE NOT STUPID AND THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY YOU DID ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS."  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

He put them both in the shower tenderly washing her skin of the dried blood. She hissed and moaned but knew it was necessary. He turned her back to him and laid her against him while he washed her hair. She couldn't believe the feeling of having someone so tender so gentle, so....loving.  
Thus last thought freaked her. What was she doing? Pulling away she yelled "this is a mistake" and tried to leave but he wrapped his arms around her. "ssshh, it's ok, really Sam its ok please please ssshh" she stilled but was sobbing against him. "What do I do?" She half moaned half wailed shaking in his arms.

"You heal, you stay calm, you stop blaming yourself and you heal. Thats it, understand?" Without another word he shut off the water and began drying her softly. He wrapped her in a bathrobe while he quickly dried himself. "Cmon" he whispered to her. He led her to the bedroom snd pulled out some sweats and a shirt. Then he pulled a tube of cream from the bedside table. "Here this will help the ache have a seat." He sat behind her and tugged the robe down. He bent down and placed a soft kiss to each abrasion then coated it with cream. "What is that? The pain is going away..." He smiled "it's got lidocaine in it." She nodded, "thank you." As her pain was eased she began to drift asleep. He was glad she found peace. He finished with her wounds then covered her in a warm comforter and left her to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

He slipped to the kitchen and phoned Hammond. "George, Carters here shanahan worked her over. She said she turned him in can you call in some favors and check it out? Also can you cover the SGC for awhile? She's in bad shape sir." Hammond agreed immediately. He was about to end the call when a blood curdling scream came out of the bedroom. He dropped the phone and ran.  
"SAM YOU'RE OK" he cautiously approached her. "YOU WERE GONE! YOU WERE GONE!!!" he sat beside her and put his hands on hers. "I'm sorry it's ok, ive been talking to Hammond, we're covered it's ok really please babe it's ok sshhh."

"NO! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! She abruptly pulled away from him and took off. He was on her heels but didn't stop her. When she opened the door she hesitated, he didn't. "Cmon airman move I want 2 miles, that's 4 laps, last one under let's go!" She looked at him. "YOU HEARD ME NOW MOVE CMON KICK MY ASS LETS GO!"  
She snapped into military mode "YES SIR" she took off towards the dock racing him. She hit the water before him executing a flawless dive despite her aching back. He swum as far as he could underwater waiting for her to surface at near the end of his reserve he saw her head up.  
They surfaced halfway to the float and began the breaststroke gliding through the water. She flipped moments before him and was off again. They continued at breakneck speed until the last leg. He had ordered it to be under the whole way. "Shit what was I thinking?" He thought to himself but no time to ponder she was over and gone. He followed watching her. He realized she hadn't surfaced for breath before starting this lap. He saw her slow down. "SHIT, SHIT, SHIT" he thought and dug deep into all he could as he reached her she stopped moving. He grabbed her waist and lunged towards the surface.  
Her head was back on his shoulder, his arms around her waist he gave a sharp thrust around her. She immediately started spitting out water. After a brief coughing spell she screamed into the sky. "AGAIN!!" he ordered, she complied "AGAIN, LOUDER" she followed orders after once more really hoarse scream she shook with tears then surprisingly giggles.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

"lemme go" she said. Jack looked at her slightly confused. "LET ME GO!" Sam screamed but Jack held tight "why? Why Sam? Talk to me..." She started fighting him furiously, he knew he couldn't give much fight back because he couldn't touch the bottom he looked around desperately for something to grab onto. He found nothing so it was good old plan B. He covered her nose and mouth and dove as far as he could. She suddenly went limp and he loosened his hold. She slipped out of his arms and was off, disappearing in the darkness. His lungs were screaming he had no choice but to surface.  
"SAM....cough cough...SAM? GOD SAM?" He drew a haggard breath and dove again. He searched as long as he could before his lungs would burst then he would surface and go under again. His mind wandered, why her, why him? What had either if them done to deserve mist everything that has happened to them. On the 4th dive he was getting scared, he surfaced screaming for her and to the heavens whoever would listen "PLEASE PLEASE DON'T TAKE HER!!!"

He dove again staying under until he   
felt the blackness coming. As he was fading strong hands grabbed under his arms and were lifting him up. They surfaced and he began to come around. "I'm not worth this jack. I'm not.."  
He felt like hell but willed himself to turn in her arms. He grabbed her crushing her to him and he shook with fear and tears. "God please stop saying that. I'd die without you please, please let me in, let me help." His voice faltered please believe me, I'll help you, I'll do anything to show you how much you mean to me."  
He was suddenly overcome with emotion and worry and had to turn away before getting sick. She grabbed him and started to shore. "I'm sorry I did that to you, I'm not worthy of it, it was a mistake to come here, to involve you.  
"Nothing I've said has gotten through to you has it? Ive been telling you its not a mistake, I love you damnit why can't you see that?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

She turned from him and pulled herself out of the water heading for the house. He pulled himself up on the deck and sat there. Jesus he thought what do I do? How do I help her?  
When he finally came in she was in his bed hidden under the covers weeping softly. His heart completely broke. He approached her slowly and with as gentle voice and touch he tried again "baby please stop trying to leave me, tell me what to do.  
"I've made a total idiot of myself....I shouldn't have come here please I'm so ashamed just leave me for a while" "No" jack said. "I said I love you and I meant it. We don't have to talk we don't have to touch but I'm not leaving." He went to his desk and pulled a box of files out and plopped them on the bed and began reading. "I'm a grown woman I can decide when I want to be alone Sir. He took off his glasses and looked at her. " I knew you'd play that card sometime...good that's over. Yes you are grown but you aren't thinking clearly enough right now to go anywhere or be alone. "HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW" he got right in front of her "because Samantha apparently you just ended a relationship and he beat the holy hell out of you. You refuse to talk, and youve tried to hurt yourself 3x today. Now get this thru that incredibly stubborn and incredibly beautiful head of yours, iit was not a mistake to come here, I am not leaving and neither are you. Do you understand me? She looked at him and knew she had no recourse, "yes, sir...." He shook his head "aacckk!" A small smile appeared on her, "yes jack."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic.

The next day came the hard core depression. He couldn't get her out of bed. She laid there staring at the ceiling when she wasn't curled in a ball weeping. She didn't eat, she didn't talk she just stared. He let her knowing he couldn't solve everything depression was depression everyone manages it differently.  
He was tending to her back when the phone rang. Jack went to the kitchen to answer even though there was a line in the bedroom. "Jack this is Hammond" finally jack thought. " It isn't good jack..." Sam quietly picked up the extension when she heard him say yes Sir. " Jack the police went to arrest Shanahan on Sam's charges. He barricaded himself in his bedroom and....". "And what sir?" There was a sigh "he killed himself, with his service revolver." There was a ear piercing wail on the line and jack ran knowing what had happened.  
He found her on the bed shaking, the phone still in her hand. Tears pouring out of her eyes. "NO NO NO NO NO ....I CAUSED HIM TO DO IT, I KILLED HIM , ALL HE DID WAS LOVE ME AND I KILLED HIM OH GOD, I....I...I" he grabbed her "SAM?!? SAM " she wouldn't respond. He cradled her like an infant soft stroking her hair. " Sshh, sshhh, ssshh it's gonna be ok Sam I promise. She wouldn't settle, her lips started changing colors he had to do something to calm her. Sam grabbed onto him shaking, he picked her up and headed outside.

The water was turning cold but he didn't hesitate. She had once told him if she was stressed he'd find her in the water. He put his mouth next to her ear "I've got you, deep breath.." she couldn't talk but she complied. He let her legs down and sunk keeping her against him tightly. They didn't go anywhere there wasn't a frantic rush this time. He held her while she enjoyed the solace. Their lungs started to pull and he kicked towards the surface. She came up first coughing the little water her panic made her swallow before diving.  
She calmed a little but not enough. "Again?" She nodded and it was back down. This time they surfaced together her back to his front her head draped back on his shoulder. "I killed him jack. " She said with a shudder.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

"No Sam, he killed you. You hear me? He killed you. Maybe not physically, but your spirit, your fire. He put his hands on you Samantha, he killed you" he lowered his voice "please Sam please come back to me please."  
"But I'm the one that left, he....." He hugged her tighter "NO NO SAM, HE DID IT HE KILLED HIMSELF NOT YOU...HE DID IT.." She turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around him. She hugged him close in silence he kicked up his legs slowly kicking with her over him. The lazily floated soaking all the problems away. "Take me under jack..." He nodded and felt her inhale. She held on as he dove aiming them back towards shore. She pressed her lips to his, no soft but not hard. As she tightened her legs around him. He started for the surface, breaking thru they parted for air and came back together. This time opening to each other. The next time they broke she arched into him almost laying back in the water. While he kissed down her throat and chest. She pulled her shirt off and flung it aside. He latched onto her breast suckling it growling. He he did the same to the other one til she was panting and moaning his name. He gathered her to him again and walked the rest of the way to shore. Inside the house he laid her by the fireplace. "Baby you've been thru alot are you sure? I won't be mad but you have to tell me." Jack I never told you WHY I left did I?" He shook his head. " You.. I left him because I can't imagine being another day away from you.... please make love to me.

He looked at her " I'm not going inside you...I'll make you forget your name, if you want me to, but I'm not going inside you. She looked at him puzzled. "Don't you want me?" He thrust his hard and ready dick against her thigh. "Of course I do, more than anything....but now is not right for you even though you think so it's not. Now that is a very possible option for the future, just not now, not tonight.   
" Make me forget jack, however you want just make me feel something please."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything, purely fanfic
> 
> EXPLICIT WARNING

His eyes went black at her declaration. He moved slowly over her capturing her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss that left her moaning. Their tongues caressed each other, the need almost becoming frantic. Damn the need for air! He said to himself and reluctantly pulled away leaving her panting.  
Jack smirked and started tracing her jugular vein from her neck down. He stopped at her sternum and nuzzled his face better her breasts. She gently held his head to her as his mouth enveloped her breast, he sucked at it while worrying the nipple with his tongue. When he finished both sides she was writhing under him.  
"Please please jack" she pushed gently on his head telling him what she wanted. He undid her soaking wet pants and pulled them and her panties. He gasp, she was shaven... he'd never been with anyone that did that. It made his erection ache badly but he ignored it. "God Sam" he said as he began to lower himself to her. Then she heard a pained grunt and looked at him. His face was so red, eyes screwed shut and sweating. "Jack? Are you ok? What is it? He looked at her "hard he ground out I'm too hard." She flipped them and snaked herself down to where the "problem" was. She took him in her hand barely touching him and held him still. She lowered her head and gently licked his head. Being so sensitive he yelled thru gritted teeth. "you don't have to do this I can do it." She shook her head, "you're way past a hand job Jack...relax let me." She swirled her tongue around the head and dipped it in the slit. He arched up into her, and put his hands over his face. She gently began to take him in sucking at him as she moved. Then she began drawing designs with her tongue all the while caressing his balls with her hand.

He started writhing and giving small thrusts to her. He reached down and grabbed her hand interlacing their fingers. "Sam please baby" She instantly rose to her knees and took him in as far as she could. He screamed, tightening his grip on her hand. She took some deep breaths and took him in all then hitting the back of her throat. Which received another strangled groan. She started pulling back sucking on the way out. "Baby pull back, Sam I'm gonna come pull back" She only clung harder to him. She grabbed his other hand and deep throated him again. He arched wildly and shot down her throat

She swallowed greedily moaning with passion and a little pride at being able to bring him such pleasure.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic
> 
> EXPLICIT WARNING

She moved to his head and kissed him he held the back of her head to his and abruptly rolled her underneath him. He kissed her so hard she sank into the mattress.

He kissed down her cheek, her neck following her pulse, across her collarbone to her sternum stopping at each breast suckling them to rosy pink hardness. She bucked her hips softly at him losing her patience but he wouldn't rush.  
He kissed down her stomach and she arched off then bed when he stuck his tongue in her belly button. She giggled when he gave her a raspberry just for good measure. He moved to her thighs kissing and licking the inside making her thrash on the bed, her eyes wet with tears she didn't realize she had shed. "Jack... please" she whimpered. He stopped his descent and just above her knees and stuck his tongue out licking her all the way up to her center.  
He gently guided her legs on his shoulders and looked at her really for the first time.

She was clean shaven....he had never seen that. "My god..." She looked at him, "good?" He didn't answer just buried his face in her. She arched wildly, it felt like she was being touched everywhere at the same time. He started moaning, making hungry noises at her. She loved that she did this to him.  
"Yes god jack... don't stop... don't st...oh oh " she went silent her eyes closed concentrating on the feelings he was causing, suddenly her hips flew up and she screamed pushing against his face she screamed again and grabbed his arms pulling him closer. "JACK....JACK....JA" she screamed a 3rd time. Soaking both of them with each scream. Jack was in awe. She was so beautiful in this unguarded, primal state.  
He laid his head against her inner thigh as she panted furiously trying to calm her breathing.

She grabbed his arms "cmere, cmere please" she pulled him on top of her and wrapped around his neck kissing his shoulder. "So what's your name?" She looked at him "huh?" He smirked "good!" He kissed her, "sleep baby..."

Some hours later he woke to find the bed empty. Fear rose in his body and he got up to see where she'd gone. He searched thru the house finding nothing then he heard violent screaming. He threw his front door open ready to fight. What he saw completely broke his heart. She stood under the stars sobbing in between screams. "DAMN YOU!!!! YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME YET YOU DO THIS? WERE YOU GONNA MARRY ME THEN DO IT ANYWAY???? GODDAMN YOU , YOU BASTARD! YOU DON'T GET YOUR WAY DO YOU BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT. I THOUGHT THATS WHST YOU HAD IN STORE FOR ME WASN'T IT? THATS WHAT YOU FUCKING SAID....FUCK YOU!!! She dropped to her knees sobbing hard but whispered " fuck you, Pete."

He approached cautiously knowing she could easily beat the crap out of him. "I'm proud of you" he said to her back. "Why, because I killed a man?" He sat next to her. "You didn't kill him, hr killed himself...." "Because of me!" " Because of HIM!"

He gently turned her to face him and locked their eyes "because of him..." He kissed her forehead, she nuzzled his neck tears streaming down her face. She shivered he gave her a quick squeeze "Cmon let's go inside hmm?"  
She nodded, they helped each other up and went inside collapsing on the bed exhausted mentally and physically.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

He lazily awoke the next day to an empty bed. "Sam?" He called.... nothing. He dragged himself out of bed and the phone rang. "Jack it's Hammond....." there was a pause and his voice softened. "Son I'm calling as her god daddy not her CO alright?" Jack smiled a bit "yes George." He chuckled "how is she son? I can't imagine." Before he could answer he heard water splash and a giggle. He moved to the window and saw her splashing around the lake, a smile on her face.  
"Well sir, she's been thru shock, depression, anger, and irrationality. But I think we may have turned a corner today." A grunt from the line told him to explain "she's in the lake sir, not frantically trying to forget...she's smiling and splashing around

He could hear the smile on Hammond's face. "Water has always been....". "Her solace" jack finished. He asked if jack needed anything and he told him open ended leave and....Jack cleared his throat " permission to marry her when the time is right." Jack felt like he was about to wet himself waiting for an answer. He heard a chuckle. ", Already in the works son...." CLICK the line went dead. Jack sat there staring at the receiver "whoa."

He sat there a minute processing what the man had just said. He smirked knowing Hammond was too at that very moment. He also decided not to tell Sam until she was more recovered....that was more important. He stood and headed out to her. She surfaced sighing and saw him coming she moved closer to the dock treading easily. "Back feel better?" She nodded "yes...thank you si-jack." He smiled "my pleasure" 

They stared at each other not knowing what to say but not wanting to stop looking either. "Join me?" He peeled his shirt off "thought you'd never ask" with that he cannonballed himself to within inches of her, the resulting tidal wave overtook her and they both came up gasping. "You are such a kid you know!" He pulled her close " yeah tha's why you love me" she went still "one one the many reasons" she whispered to him wrapping her arms around his neck.

Making him very happy to tread for both of them until he couldn't resist hugging her to him, they sunk slowly but didn't care. They surfaced and were back in each other's arms, her mouth was next to his ear "this wasn't a mistake" He pulled back and looked at her, "finally" he whispered against her lips. She smiled a weak smile but at least it was there. >

She bent backwards dunking her head and arching into him. "Holy shit" he mumbled the he was suddenly pulled under. She wrapped her legs around his waist and grabbed his lips with hers. He kept kissing her while heading up. She began grinding on him clutching him tight. He surfaced on his back raising her up too. He never broke from her the whole way in.When he could touch, his hands went to her middle and bottom to hold her close as he walked towards the cabin cradling the most important thing in his universe.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic
> 
>  
> 
> EXPLICIT WARNING

They went inside and ran a hot bath. He got in first she surprised him by turning and straddling him resting in his lap facing him. "Jack make love to me, I need you.... inside me. Please make me feel whole, make US feel whole" 

She leaned forward and captured his mouth caressing his tongue with herss at the same time she started grinding in his lap his dick was trapped beneath her and responded immediately. He managed to collect a few brain cells and pulled out of the kiss. "Baby are you sure? Itd kill me if you regretted one thing about this" she moved closer "my only regret is waiting so long." She was on and in his mouth again. His hands flew to her hips and lifted letting his now full, throbbing erection free. He broke the kiss again locking his eyes with hers as he lowered her on him for the first time. 

She trembled and shook trying to take him in he spasmed involuntarily at her tightness. When he was fully inside she threw her head back "oh god!" Tears started streaming down her face. He was struggling for control himself but managed to calm slightly when he realized her discomfort. He stroked her hair " sshhh baby relax, it's ok it'll ease up relax." He used a deep calming voice he knew she liked that also turned her on. He leaned forward slightly kissing her neck. She brought her head back down and gently turned his up to her. 

They shared another sensual kiss and she grabbed his shoulders using them for leverage as she started to move, gently rocking at first then her grip tightened as she began to use her legs to move up and down. She rose until he just barely left her then she crashed back down pulling noises from both of them. She started to tire and without breaking from her mouth he grabbed her hips and held her down. She took the hint and snaked her legs behind him seating him deeper. 

He kept his grip on her and began thrusting his hips giving her no room to withdraw not that she wanted to. He jolted her in every thrust and she moaned into his mouth. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and crushed her mouth harder on his as he sped up causing both to moan loudly. She felt him jump inside her and her tears fell as she climaxed in his arms. She broke the kiss her head flying back while she experienced the hardest orgasm of her life. "Oh god Jesus" he ground out and she felt him grow larger and exploded inside her filling her with his hot release. She tilted her head back to his resting forehead to forehead both panting furiously. "God ...kiss... I love you.. . kiss....I love you.... kiss...so fucking much...Jack said kissing her all over. He brought his cheek to hers and she felt his tears running down his face. She pulled back " what's wrong?" He sniffed and wiped his eyes, "Nothing baby, I swear nothing is wrong. It's never been so right...this is right Samantha....so very right."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic
> 
>  
> 
> EXPLICIT WARNING

They moved to the bedroom. "Sit down" she whispered in his ear. She gave him a little push so he bounced on the bed. " What are y..." He couldn't finish around her tongue but she didn't straddle him. Instead she broke the kiss and shot him a way too mischievous smile and kissed his neck following his pulse down his chest dipping her tongue into his belly button causing him to fly off the bed. She smiled against his skin and continued lower. She licked and caressed his penis moaning as she did it which sent a vibration thru his body. His head thrown back, eyes closed. "Sam..." he croaked "no, let me jack" and she continued they interlaced their fingers and she pushed him back without releasing him. He spread his knees and she took up the space between taking him in as far as she could. His grip tightened. "Sam please please let me inside you..." She withdrew to just his head sucking on it and dipped her tongue in the slit tasting him. "GOD SAM PLEASE"

She released him and he sat up while she straddled him wrapping their arms around each other like their lives depended on it. He entered her while still holding on tight. Soon they both shook, not from penetration but from emotion. They sat motionless for awhile trying to convey their love for each other. There were simply no words.

They held each other close enough to feel their hearts beating thru their chests. She blinked back her tears and kissed his neck. She started moving up and down on him. His grip fell to her hips and he began pulling her down as he thrust up eliciting a gasp and moan each time. She felt him expand nearing release and she threw her head back and thrust at him. They both climaxed at the same time reaching a fulfillment they had never experienced.

The next thing he knew he jerked awake. He was in his bed all covered up and alone. He threw the covers off and hoped his legs worked. He knew from experience where to look but she wasn't in the water, she wasn't on the dock, not in the yard. He felt a twinge of panic set in but tried to keep it down. "Sam?" He called knowing there'd be no answer. He remembered he had hidden her keys the first night out of fear. He went to the porch and froze. His truck was gone. He made himself breath deeply so he could think. When he became commander if the SGC they insta locator in his personal vehicle. He hated the idea at the time, now he praised it. He ran back inside calling the control room. "HARRIMAN I NEED A 20 ON MY VEHICLE NOW NO QUESTIONS..." "Yes sir " replied the voice. A minute later the voice came back "county hospital sir ," Jack almost fell to his knees, regained himself and slammed the phone down. He barelyremembered to dress before grabbing her keys and flying out the door. A million thoughts ran thru his mind but he pushed them away "you don't know, he repeated, you don't know." He screeched to a halt. And sat there willing himself to calm. He went inside and asked the desk person describing her to the guard. "Oh the body ID." Jack went green then white and the guard caught him with a chair. "God I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. That lady is here to ID a body." Jack looked at him tears rolling down his face. "Where" he asked hoarsely. "Basement...2 floors down. I'll take you" he started to move, jack didn't. "Thank you but you're an ass for doing that to me" the guard looked at him then his shoulders dropped he nodded "I know sir, please accept my apology." Jack nodded and got up silently following the man.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

The elevator doors opened and he could hear her sobbing. "Thank you" jack said. The guard nodded and stepped back inside. Jack opened the door to the morgue and saw her drop to her knees over a trash can. He grabbed a washcloth from the linen rack and was by her side in seconds holding her while she wretched so hard he was afraid for her. When that had mostly ended she started to hyperventilate. He held her against him so that his mouth was next to her ear. "Baby you need to slow down. You feel me breathing? Breath with me Samantha please Cmon in...out ...in....out sshhh I'm here please calm down breath ssshh"

After several minutes she went mostly still. So still he was afraid. "Sam?" He felt tears down the arm closest to her face. "Sam?" She exhaled "yes" came out in less than a whisper. Nevertheless he was relieved she responded.  
" Did you do what they need you to?" She nodded against him. "They took him away...." Came out in the same whisper.  
" Then let's go, Cmon" he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. The silently walking out nodding at the security guard. He out her in his truck and took the keys but sat there. "Why Sam? Why didn't you tell me? I would've come with, why do you always go off alone? I'm trying to be there for you damnit. You only seem to want me around for the physical stuff. That's not all there is. I'm here for every part Samantha and if we're going ant further you have to start letting me in." She quietly cried as he started the engine and headed back to his house. " Take me home..." She said thru her tears. "I am" she stared at him "my home." His head whipped to her. "You're not serious" her chin wobbled and tears poured from her. He nodded "I didn't think so. But.... the fact that you even asked means we are going to have a discussion before anything else. They drove in silence but she could tell from his movements and demeanor he was hurt, pissed or both. " I didn't mean to hurt you." He inhaled deeply" you're doing a damn good job of it." She was beyond crying, the horrible confusion that's beyond crying and before something drastic. He pulled into his drive and sat there. "Sam will you let me help?" She stared at the floorboard "can you?" He stared at her, then threw his door open and jumping out. He moved far enough away that she couldn't make out what he said or did. She didn't know what to think which was kinda fitting because at that moment he didn't know either.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

He dropped to his knees, his arms falling at his sides. There was nothing, in his mouth, in his brain, in his heart or body.... nothing to draw on. He had no clue what he should do next.

The only thing he knew with absolute certainty and the only thing that stuck in his brain was that he loved her. She was life to him. He wasn't stupid he knew words weren't his strong point but this was different. Usually SOMETHING came to him, there was literally nothing.

He felt the tears come and for once even though he was "the man" he welcomed them. He shuddered as they poured from his eyes. "What do I do? Someone please help me, what do I do?"

"You let me go.." came a voice behind him. " I don't want to hurt you anymore, let me go." He shook his head "NEVER" she moved closer "I don't want to hurt you anymore." He rose up quickly "THAT WOULD KILL ME, DONT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YET? IF YOU LEAVE ME IT WOULD KILL ME!

He stopped in silence for a minute "unless...unless that's what you want." They locked eyes "no it's not" she said. He studied her "uh huh" he turned and walked towards the lake. She moved towards him. "Please don't, I'll be back " was all he said. He walked to the bank and slid in immediately going under. He could see why she loved this. There was nothing, no yelling, alarms, crisis or pain. Just peace and the annoying need for air occasionally. Jack stroked his arms lazily thru the water towards the surface to refill his lungs. He came up on his back, took a few deep breaths and sunk again. He suddenly screamed into the depths, bubbles floated everywhere. He thrashed his arms around cursing the situation. He needed to surface and headed up. He hadn't realized he was so deep and came up gasping furiously with a slight dizziness. "Are you ok jack?" He turned to face the float, to face Sam. How in the hell? He thought but let it go, not important.

She eased herself into the water and over to him."I'm sorry, I've been trying to do things alone and failing miserably. I've hurt you which is the absolute last thing I wanted. I've been a fool and an embarrassment. I am so sorry Jack. He reached out and pulled her close wrapping his arms around her. "Its ok to need someone you know. We all need help sometimes." She looked down, ashamed, he tilted her chin to see her eye to eye. "I love you, and I'm not going anywhere. Please let me in, let me help." Her chin wobbled and tears fell as she gently nodded. "Cmere baby" he whispered pulling her close. They both forgot where they were because as they embraced, they also sunk. Both immediately surfaced she started giggling. "Oops" he said. "Let's go in, cmere." He flipped on his back and draped her over him grabbing her lips and he paddled them to shore.

He elbowed the door open and she giggled against him. They broke apart "so that's why you never lock the door" he smiled back and reclaimed her lips. Jack navigated the house with his eyes closed and sams tongue in his mouth which was something he never thought he'd experience. Once they got to the bedroom he laid her on the bed and looked at her "I'm gonna show you how you should be treated. " Her panic began to rise thinking of Petes earlier actions She was about to protest when he pressed his lips to hers and coaxed her mouth open. He pushed his tongue in her mouth and which she eagerly accepted. Jack sat in the edge of the bed and brought Sam over to straddle him still continuing his assault in her mouth. She moaned when she felt him jump beneath her. She bgan rocking on him. After some very long minutes his hands flew to her hips stilling her. "Not yet Sam, relax, let go, let your guard down you're safe now." She nodded against his temple and he wrapped his arms around her and lowered her onto the bed. She locked her ankles together just above his waist and framed his face pulling him close and sucking his lips. He settled most his weight on her and deepened the kiss wrapping his arms under her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

He moved fluidly, filling her full with every thrust. She felt like she was floating. Then he thrust into her and held. She moaned when he started jumping inside her. He crashed his lips to hers while he withdrew then thrust and held again. She screamed her hips flew off the bed even under his weight. He did it again and she fell to pieces screaming his name .

The next day she dreaded more than any other.... Pete's funeral. Sam wondered if she should even go. When she got there she was treated as a outcast. His fellow police officers completely turned on her. Jack finally had enough and led her away but it was too late, she had regressed way inside. She blankly stared out the window the whole way home. She wouldn't talk, or even look up.

He assumed she would head for the lake as soon as they got there but she walked past him into the house stripping her uniform jacket and heels as she went. She plopped on the bed and buried herself in the covers.

Jack went to the kitchen and called Gen Hammond. He explained the situation and requested downtime. Hammond agreed and jack was told to keep him informed. He then took a deep breath and headed for the bedroom.

He sat next to her placing his hand on her back, when she didn't pull away he laid down spooning her to him. He wrapped his whole body around her. He moved his mouth next to her ear "I've got you...." Her body shook with silent sobs as he held her. 

"How did you get thru it?" She whispered. "Hmm? He asked. "Charlie, how did you.... what do I do? Help me...."

Jack was a little taken aback, he hadn't expected that. He swallowed his heart and gently rolled her towards him. He propped himself up to look into her eyes and cupped her cheek. "You Samantha, you are how I got thru it. You gave me my life...."


End file.
